When I was in high school, my best friend’s mom made no secret of her worries about us driving, going to parties, meeting new teens she didn’t know, and staying out late. But she felt confident in our ability to navigate the temptations of risky teenage behavior because, in her words, “You have good friends.” …
6 Types of Friendships That Are Bad for Emotional Health Read More »
All relationships require compromise. This is true for friendships, work relationships, and romantic partnerships. When we are genuinely committed to an outcome, whether it be a work-related result or maintaining a healthy interpersonal dynamic, we are required to be flexible in our expectations. Sometimes you may find yourself feeling uncomfortable in a relationship. You notice …
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It is a simple question, but one that can cause more inner turmoil than most of us realize.
“How are you feeling?”
For countless people living with a longer-term or chronic illness, that seemingly innocent question can be loaded with emotions.
As a psychotherapist specializing in living with chronic conditions, I hear countless people wonder aloud if people really want the truth. Or they worry that the truth, some variation of “not so good,” will be followed by awkward silence or unwanted advice.
I was feeling breezy one afternoon after one of my favorite songs played in my earbuds on my way back from lunch (which always spurs me to call my lifelong best friend and serenade her voicemail because she gets me). So that day I asked the frustrated woman in my office, “What’s your favorite music?”
A small smile played on her lips. “Rock and roll,” she said. “1950s. Those were the happiest days of my life.”
She was relaxed into her second trimester, answering all the usual questions from our guests: a boy, due in May, first trimester was uncomfortable but not terrible, totally different pregnancy from her first, totally excited.
She joked about the whole “we’re pregnant vs. I’m pregnant” debate with her husband Jeff, who had stopped drinking and even gained “baby weight.”
Her family used to live near us. They recently moved to a larger home with the plan of having another child. Just a few days earlier, she had asked me where we bought our Murphy bed. I assumed they were getting ready for family visits after the baby’s arrival.
Her text response to my pictures came about a minute later and stopped me in my tracks.
I have two toddler-aged kids. They regularly take my breath away with their often-unexpected highs and lows. But one thing I have noticed remains constant for both:
They love themselves!
My younger son smiles at himself in the mirror, kisses his own lips, and plays with his reflection. My daughter, a little older, admires whatever she is wearing, whether she is dressed up as Queen Elsa or Iron Man or showing off a wildly mismatched outfit she has put together herself.
The radical idea here is we all started off that way.
“She’s a little shy,” was our common refrain when someone asked our daughter a question and received no response. But we long suspected she was different.
When our new-parent friends were excitedly talking about their baby’s first words, followed soon after by hilarious accounts of nonsensical word phases, eventually giving way to logical conversations they had with their kids, my daughter appeared generally unimpressed.
My husband tried to comfort me by reminding me it’s okay that she is an introvert. Still, quiet conversations about what she was saying (or not saying) dominated our pillow talk for many nights.
She was born with a life-threatening infection. While she was released after nearly a month in the NICU with a clean bill of health, doctors warned us the infection and the medications used to treat it could lead to complications later on.
All people, at some point, experience one or more of the symptoms of depression. It is normal for our moods to cycle moderately while we balance demands at work and at home, while coping with short- or long-term illness, or when dealing with a loss such as a death or breakup. Mental health professionals also …
Many of us spend a significant amount of time and effort on how we appear on the outside. We get haircuts; buy clothes, jewelry, and cosmetics; and even opt for expensive and painful medical procedures to maintain an image of youthful resilience. But what about our internal resilience? While physical appearance is important to many …
For many people, going to therapy is a hot-button issue. The idea somehow implies that a person in therapy is weak, unable to manage their problems, downright crazy, or just seeking attention. But regardless of where you live, you undoubtedly know someone who is currently in therapy or has been at some point in their …
4 Myths About Psychotherapy You Should Know Before You Go Read More »
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