When I asked my daughter what classes she wanted to take this summer and she said “ballet,” I felt a hiccup of emotion. For all of the joy I have derived from dance, anyone would have thought I’d be ecstatic to learn my daughter wanted to take lessons. And it was exciting.
But it’s complicated.
I have two toddler-aged kids. They regularly take my breath away with their often-unexpected highs and lows. But one thing I have noticed remains constant for both:
They love themselves!
My younger son smiles at himself in the mirror, kisses his own lips, and plays with his reflection. My daughter, a little older, admires whatever she is wearing, whether she is dressed up as Queen Elsa or Iron Man or showing off a wildly mismatched outfit she has put together herself.
The radical idea here is we all started off that way.
“She’s a little shy,” was our common refrain when someone asked our daughter a question and received no response. But we long suspected she was different.
When our new-parent friends were excitedly talking about their baby’s first words, followed soon after by hilarious accounts of nonsensical word phases, eventually giving way to logical conversations they had with their kids, my daughter appeared generally unimpressed.
My husband tried to comfort me by reminding me it’s okay that she is an introvert. Still, quiet conversations about what she was saying (or not saying) dominated our pillow talk for many nights.
She was born with a life-threatening infection. While she was released after nearly a month in the NICU with a clean bill of health, doctors warned us the infection and the medications used to treat it could lead to complications later on.
All people, at some point, experience one or more of the symptoms of depression. It is normal for our moods to cycle moderately while we balance demands at work and at home, while coping with short- or long-term illness, or when dealing with a loss such as a death or breakup. Mental health professionals also …
Many of us spend a significant amount of time and effort on how we appear on the outside. We get haircuts; buy clothes, jewelry, and cosmetics; and even opt for expensive and painful medical procedures to maintain an image of youthful resilience. But what about our internal resilience? While physical appearance is important to many …
For many people, going to therapy is a hot-button issue. The idea somehow implies that a person in therapy is weak, unable to manage their problems, downright crazy, or just seeking attention. But regardless of where you live, you undoubtedly know someone who is currently in therapy or has been at some point in their …
4 Myths About Psychotherapy You Should Know Before You Go Read More »
Before I became pregnant, I thought Cesarean sections were performed only in the event of a true emergency. But when I began researching labor and birth, I found out that the rate of C-sections in the U.S. is more than double the World Health Organization’s recommendation. As I began to learn more, I heard horror …
I Wanted To Avoid a C-Section At All Costs. Then I Went Into Labor Read More »
If I had a nickel for every time someone struggling with depression told me they don’t “believe” in antidepressants… Even with all of the information proving depression is an illness, not a weakness, the disorder still has a powerful stigma attached to it. Even though we know how swiftly and profoundly depression can strike us …
We all have a victim story. Blame can be laid upon not only strangers, but frequently upon parents, partners, friends, teachers, coworkers, neighbors, and even the government for whatever situation brings discomfort.
As a therapist, many of the people I sit with have a story to tell. Often that story boils down to being victimized in some way.
What is changing in your life right now? Is it a sudden change having to do with a happy milestone? Or was there a call in the middle of the night, an unexpected email, or a closed-door meeting at work?
Copyright © 2022 Alena Gerst, Inside Psychotherapy LCSW - 16 Madison Square West, 12th Floor New York, NY 10010
